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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

8 weeks

I have seen others write weekly updates/letters and thought it was a good idea. Since this really is for me and this will be a good place to write down and remember for later!

First, I can't believe it has already been 8 weeks! Time is going way too quickly! Plus that means mu maternity leave is half over and I don't want to think about that!

A, I can't imagine my life now without you in it. You always find a way to make me smile, even if its the middle of the night and i am exhausted, one look at you and my heart melts. You have started to play more this past week. Auntie Liz bought you this awesome whale toy and you love to stare at the toys and sometimes even hit them! You have also become a lot more smiley which I love, especially because they seem to be real smiles and not gas related! You seem happiest in the very early morning, clearly you take after grandma and not mommy or daddy! We love you so much! We call you all sorts of names, the most common one is little Biddle. Daddy called you that one day early on and it sort of stuck! We also call you silly pants a lot, you are just a silly girl! Your favorite place to be is in the wrap, nice and close to mommy. The few times we have gone out mommy puts you in there and you calm right down! We haven't ventured out much yet because mommy is nervous to feed you outside. You are very wiggly and it is hard to stay covered up! But we will keep working on it!

loves tummy time and can lift head great!
hates to nap and sleep during day!
had first night of sleeping 8 hours which mommy hopes you do again soon!
first trip to a restaurant - Claim Jumper for grandpa Keith's birthday

Coming up this week:
First Holidays - Halloween!

Love always and forever!

Friday, October 25, 2013


Friday, my favorite day of the week. Friday used to mean the weekend was here and I could go home and relax. Now I am home all day and certainly not relaxing! I love my daughter but it is hard to handle her all day and night by myself. My hubby works long hours so he is home either right before or right after A goes to sleep.

But on Friday, I get to have a break and some sleep because hubby takes the first night feeding! I pump every night  to fill up a bottle but for Friday night! It is so nice to go to bed k owing I can just sleep and not keep one eye open all night listening out for A. Plus hubby then gets that special time to feed her and feel what it is like to wake up in the middle of the night! :)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Diapers, diapers everywhere

We made the decision to cloth diaper. Everyone told us we were crazy. Some bought us disposables saying here are some for when you give up on cloth. Hearing all the negativity did make me a bit nervous but I read up on it a lot and felt it was the best decision for us!

Now, I will admit we are cheating a bit because my Mom is awesome and recommended a diaper service. I hadn't even thought of that as I assumed it would be too expensive! Well, I was able to find a local service for only 20 bucks a week! And my Mom who again is awesome bought us the first 5 weeks so we could test it out.

7 weeks in and so far it is going great! We use prefolds and covers because the service provides the prefolds. We have a few different covers and they are all so cute! Right now my favorites are the thirsties covers as they fit A the best!

A loves cloth too. The few times we have used disposables she has been more cranky. I think she has gotten my sensitive skin and so the cotton cloth feels much better on her little bum! Granted it means more diaper changes but it is worth it!

I am worried when she has to go to daycare because the one we have gotten in to (not my top choice) will not support cloth. :( I am just hoping we get into our top choice by some miracle!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


So yesterday was 6 weeks since giving birth and tomorrow will be 6 weeks since I filed for SDI (state disability insurance). I have yet to be paid... And Saturday I got a letter saying I won't be paid because for some reason they said my medical records indicate I am able to work and could have returned to work on September 10! WTF! One week after giving birth I was supposed to work... Yeah right!

So I try and fix this Monday. First email my appeal and once I submit I see they won't even review for 7-10 days. So I call my doctor to check with them... Oh wait their benefits person isn't in on Mondays. Ok, I will call SDI and see what I can do. I call get into wait line which last time was twenty minutes. Well this time a voice comes on and says, sorry we have reached capacity call back, and then hung up on me!

So today I will try again. I did speak to doctor and they said they would submit paperwork to say I wasn't cleared yet. We will see... Thank God I had sick time to supplement this so I at least still got paid something from work to pay my bills!

Monday, October 14, 2013


The one piece of advice I got when pregnant was to sleep when the baby sleeps. It sounds like great advice... If only I could follow it!

My little one seems to only want to sleep on me. Which I then can't really sleep. Or the rare cases she does go down in a swing or something I use the time to eat and take a sitz bath which I still need to recover!

Maybe this is all a case of first time mom syndrome. They have been playing those commercials lately of first time mom vs second time mom and I find them to be very true!

You don't realize how much you miss sleep until you get some either. My husband was being very nice and said he would do first night feeding on Friday since we had a bottle of pumped milk in fridge. So I got more than 4 hours of sleep and it was glorious but also such a tease! My body said thank you we missed this and then revolted when it didn't get it again!

Oh well for now I will just keep not sleeping and enjoy the precious moments when I can!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

A's Birth Story

It was appropriately Labor Day when I was scheduled to go in. The actual induction would take place the next day but my doctor wanted me in night before for monitoring and cervadril. So, at 7pm hubby and I took our final picture of just the two of us heading to the hospital. We checked in fairly easily and were sent to room 3. I took that as a good sign since 3 is my second favorite number and the induction day was for the third. They hooked me up and then around 8 or so gave me the cervadril. This is not supposed to start labor but just to soften the cervix as mine was not soft yet. Around 11 we tried to get some sleep as we knew the next day our lives would be changing forever!

I woke up and really had the urge to pee. It was around 3am and I called the nurse so she could take me off the monitors so I could go to the bathroom. I was almost there when I felt a gush. I thought I had an accident but found out later that my water broke! Around 5 or so (sadly the details are already fuzzy I should have written this sooner!) the contractions started. They were not bad at first and I felt I totally had this.

I was excited because I didn't need to have the pitocin anymore since I went into labor on my own! Around 6am I got to take a shower and after that I was basically hooked up to the monitor the rest of the time. Around 8 they started to get really intense. They were coming every minute and a half and lasting a minute meaning I only had 30 seconds down time. It was brutal. Going in I wanted to avoid an epidural but knew I might need it. I set a goal of getting to 7 centimeters. Well I finally had enough and called for epidural. The doctor was there to check me but decided to do it after epidural. I wanted him to check so I at least knew how much longer but oh well. I finally got the epidural a bit after 9 thank God as they were just getting worse and worse! Right after I got it I saw on the machine I was having really strong ones and was so happy I couldn't feel them anymore! The doctor finally checked me and lo and behold I was 7 centimeters! I made my goal. That made me feel like I hadn't failed.

Hubby and I then tried to get comfy as we waited. We listened to music, Disney station of course! And but tried to imagine and give one final guess on what was going to happen.

At around 11, they said I was ten centimeters and could push soon! 11:30 my doctor showed and pushing began! Now nurse had told me my doctor had a 12:30 c-section to get to but told my doctor I was a good pusher and it would be ok.

I pushed and pushed. The head showed pretty quickly but then it seemed stuck. They kept pushing me to push and push. A bit after noon my doctor suggested an episiotomy. I was not sure as I had heard to avoid those. My doctor asked again ensuring it would be a tiny cut just to help. I finally agreed. Once she cut I did one more push and out came baby!

The doctor and nurses said they would let hubby announce sex. When born baby was passed to me and they kept asking hubby so what do you see. He said nothing because baby was positioned the wrong way for him to see. The doctor misunderstood and said that's because there is nothing, it's a GIRL! I looked down at her and cried happy tears!

We wanted to do the golden hour where we get baby for an hour to bond and try to feed before any tests. Well I only had her for a few minutes and they took her.

I was to busy staring at my baby to realize what was happening ay first. They kept asking if I was ok and again just staring at my baby trying to ser her from across the room I was distracted. It wasn't until I heard, I need this from the OR that I realized things were not quite normal. Turns out the little cut that I wouldn't notice became a fourth degree tear! I also had started to hemorrhage. It also turns out that I was supposed to get pitocin to help placenta get out but they put med in wrong so instead of going to my IV it went to the bed... Super helpful! So that meant they basically pulled it out. Thank God I got the epidural! I overheard something about 70 stitches and felt like I was on Grey's Anatomy as they counted and double counted the lap pads saying we had 10 and you brought in this many from OR and counted again. Needless to say all their effort to fit me in before her c-section didn't work as they had to work on my for a long time to fix me.

Then they took A away because she wasn't breathing well so hubby went with her and suddenly I was alone. No fun! Hubby was with A and our families were waiting to find out as they hadn't heard any news. My bff arrived just as hubby and A were being wheeled to nursery and told our family. They were trying to mime to hubby asking what the baby was but he didn't say. Then the nurse came to say what happened to me and then said and isn't SHE beautiful! Whoops gave away the secret! Everyone was thrilled though!

Finally, I was wheeled to recovery and after 2 hours apart I got to really hold and cherish my beautiful daughter!


First, i will back track a bit to get caught up to now.

December 5, 2012 is when we did the transfer. I was very nervous as the last two months they had cancelled my transfer so I didn't believe it was actually happening! Luckily it did and they transferred two blasts! Then the waiting began... Which I suck at so I held out until 4dp5dt (4 days past 5 day transfer) and of course it was blank but I thought I maybe saw something. I had been taking it very easy since transfer to give embryos the best chance of implanting. At 6dp5dt it was December 11 and 11 is my lucky number so I said why not I will test and when it says not pregnant I will wait for beta but at least I get testing out of my system. Well I took the digital kind and expected to see not. I finally look down and to my surprise I see PREGNANT! Woo hoo!

We then got the beta results a few days later to find out we were indeed pregnant! Best news ever!

we didn't announce it until valentines day as I was still very cautious and didn't want to say anything until we were out of first trimester.

Which the first trimester sent well. I had some nausea but not terrible. I basically just did not want to eat and had to force myself! But all in all it was good.

 Second trimester also went well. We chose not to find out the sex and keep it a surprise. This got us two reactions - you are crazy and good for you. I found it funny how many people got upset by us not finding out! At our 20 week ultrasound we found out that the cord was marginally inserted. This means rather than being attached at center it was 1cm from edge. So we had to get more ultrasounds which I was fine with! Luckily, it never turned into anything and baby grew just fine!

Third trimester I was finally showing so people would stop asking if I was actually pregnant! I was very lucky and got a nice cute belly and minimal swelling and issues. I kept working up until due date which came and went and no baby! So I kept working until my doctor said no more, you are getting induced! So 11 days after due date, I went in to get induced!

A new little pickle!

So I decided to return to the world of blogging. I had stopped because what I wanted to blog about I wasn't ready to put out there in the world. Basically, dealt with infertility and finally after IVF and and FET we got pregnant! Little miss is now here and I figured blogging would be a goof way to keep track of what is happening in life!

so more to come!