The Last Night (Our Journey has ended)

So, our journey has finally come to an end. Last night, was the last night that I will have breastfed Aurora. We had been slowly weaning since December. She handled all the other transitions pretty well. The morning one, which we removed at the beginning of the year, she handled much better than I thought she would. She had a few fussy days, but overall, did really well. But, this one, the right before bed one, I worry.

She LOVES her right before bed feeding. Last night she was crying and trying to pull me to the rocking chair to start it right away, rather than to read a book first. We did finish the book, and then for one last time, we had our night time feeding. Now, these feedings have been getting shorter and shorter where they were lasting less than 5 minutes. But, I think she knew something was up, because she stayed on much longer this time. And then when she did finally finish, she just laid her head there and looked at me.

I had done really well at not getting emotional, up until that point. When I rocked her as she sucked on her pacifier and I tried to get her to sleep. The tears just ran down my face. I thought back to all the times I had fed her, many right in that chair rocking her, and just was sad and happy at the journey we had taken.

It was a long journey. Longer that I ever thought it would be. I was very nervous about breastfeeding and I did not know if I could do it. But, I tied and I kept at it, and with some help, we got into a really nice rhythm and I really enjoyed being able to feed and nourish her. I enjoyed those cuddles before bed. And while I enjoy my sleep now, I do sometimes miss those middle of the night quiet feeding sessions (not the middle of the night crying won’t go to sleep sessions!). I made it through a year of pumping at work and dealing with the panic of not having enough milk, of then feeding past on year and getting all the comments about why aren't we done, and now here we are 16 and a half months later finally finishing this special journey.

I think she knew at some level that something was up, because she woke up many times in the night screaming, MOMMY, over and over again. It breaks my heart because I know that is how she felt a special connection to me and how I could easily comfort her. Now, my hugs and kisses will have to be enough. I know the next few nights will be rough, but we will get through, and just lead her into the next stage of her being the big girl that she is becoming.   

What do you do with the poo!

The title is especially for my husband :)

I have recently had a few friends interested in cloth diapering. It is fun to share this with them, but the big question I always get is, but what about the poo!

When I started out, I searched how to wash cloth diapers. And man, is there A LOT of opinions on this! And they are all different and contradict one another. So, I thought I would add to the mess and share what I do.

I try and keep it as simple as possible.

Before I even get to washing them in a machine, any diaper that has that dreaded poo, I first take and dunk shake the poo off into the toilet. I then use my Spray Pal (amazing invention!) and sprayer to spray off anything that may have been left behind. So, there is no actual poo going into the washer (as many fear).

As for the actual washing portion. I have a front loading he washing machine. I do a rinse cycle first, then do a heavy duty cycle with an extra rinse at the end. That is it!

I originally did not use anything extra in the rinse, but now use Eco Nuts ammonia bouncer. I also used to use Tide Free and Gentle which worked great for the first few months. My diapers just didn't seem to be getting as clean as I would like and I won a sample of Molly's Suds and so I tried that. It was great and worked well! I decided I liked using a specific detergent for Cloth Diapers, so I decided to get GroVia's Tiny Bubbles detergent and then also a packet of their Might Bubbles to try. I chose them as I have a lot of GroVia products (I think I have most of them now!) and have always had good luck with them. They work great! I use the Might Bubbles when I have a load that sometimes goes that extra day before cleaning and they always come out nice and clean. So, I will continue to use this awesome product!

For drying, I line dry them outside. Since we are in California and it is usually sunny, I like hanging the diapers outside to dry. The sun helps with any stains and I don't have to run the dryer forever to dry them. At the end of the day when I bring them in, I just pop the inserts in quickly to fluff them back up as the sun can make them a bit rough.

The other question I am often asked, is how many extra loads of laundry does this really add. Well, for me, it is two. I do laundry on Tuesday night and then Friday or Saturday night  depending on what is going on that weekend. I do the rinse cycle at night. And then set my timer to do the heavy duty cycle at 4am so it is done when I wake up. I then put them out on the line in the morning and then bring them back in that night.

16 Months!

A,

Another month has flown by! This month went particularly fast because of all the holidays. It was, as always, an amazing month, watching you grow, and grow, and grow!

I am going to start with the one thing I am very excited about, and that is sleep. Yes, glorious sleep! You are now sleeping through the night! It has been wonderful and amazing. You still will wake some nights, but usually we do not have to go in and you will settle yourself back down. Even these past two weeks when you have been sick, you will cough in the middle of the night, but again, will settle yourself. It has been wonderful!

You had started to wake up the past couple days by standing up and just saying, Hi, Hi, Hi, into the monitor. It was a wonderful way to wake up. I hope you continue this morning ritual. I did just change your morning ritual on you though, which you are not happy about. We just stopped the morning feeds with mama. You actually did amazing the first day, but I think it helped that Grandma was there to distract you. The last two days, you did not like that I gave you a sippy cup. But, I know in time, you will forget and move to just a sippy (and then we will work on nighttime!).

You have become a great eater. You started out with feast or famine days. Some days you would not eat anything and we finally would cave and give blueberries, because it was the only thing you would eat. And then other days you just ate, and ate, and ate. Lately, though, you have been having more feast days, which makes me happy as I know you are then getting all the good stuff that you need! You also have become in love with "Elmo" which is crackers in a box with Elmo on them. I assume daycare showed you Elmo, because we never did, but you certainly know who he is!

You still love your Disney as well (probably because that is all I show you!). You got to see Disney On Ice this month and go to Disneyland again. You had a great time at both! Disney on Ice, we were not sure if you liked it or not as at first you just sat on Grandma's lap and stared, but then in the second act, you were pointing and waving. I think you were just taking it all in at first. Then, Disneyland was on Christmas Eve as is our family tradition. You did so great! We went on rides, saw the parade, and walked around the lands. You didn't nap until 5pm as you were enjoying it so much. You finally fell asleep when Uncle Garrett held you.

Christmas Day was at our house. Santa came to visit and you got a Train Set which you LOVE. We also got you a Princess Castle that you can play in and you seem to really enjoy playing in, especially when we put your princess castle inside the big one. Or, if we sit in with you and read. Your other favorite toy this Christmas is probably your baby doll, you hold your "Baybee" around the house and even into the car at times. A few times, we even had to feed the baby before you would eat!

You seem to have stopped caring for the potty. Not sure what caused it, but you don't seem to want to go in the potty anymore. Oh well, no rush there! I do think though once you move up to the Toddler Room and see the "big" kids using the potty, you will go right back to it. Right now, you are the oldest in the room, and just in the 30 minutes I saw you there today, I think you hit all three babies... so, you still are not loving having babies around! You really like the older kids. You had a great time with your cousins on Christmas Day and New Years Eve/Day, especially Freya. She really loves you and wants to spend every moment with you, and you seemed to be pretty happy playing with her as well.

This month, I think was one of the funnest months. You are becoming so independent now, or at least trying to, and it is so amazing to watch. At dinner, you always ask for a spoon (poon), and try really hard to eat with it. You now say Please (pees) and Thank you (dank yu), and so many other words. You also have conversations with yourself that I wish I understood as it would be amazing to hear what you are saying. But, still fascinating all the same! You truly are the joy and light of our life! Daddy and I love you so much! You just started giving out hugs and kisses and it is probably the best thing in the world to feel your little arms wrapped around my neck and to get a kiss on the cheek! I look so forward to seeing what fun adventures this month brings us :)

Love always and forever,

Mommy